"...but what if there was some self-loathing piece of shit just like you...?" -Jason Clark
Adam has returned from California. And after getting home at midnight-1ish last night (it was his first time seeing the new place), he went to sleep. In the morning the next day:
Adam: Close the door so I can masturbate.
Me: Is this your first or second wank now in the new place?
I've a shamed confession to make: I am a Florida Marlins fan. In the 15 or so seasons of the franchise, I've put up through roster overhauls, horrendous climates ranging from untolerable heat, to untolerable rain, to untolerable humidity (often at the same time), the worst baseball facility known to man, and abysmall losing seasons... for the love of the game, and the love of the hometown team.
There have been the highs. Two World Series championships in 6 years, exceptional radio & television broadcasting quality, and key players that have been sometimes athletic marvels (Miguel Cabrera, Alex Gonzalez), sometimes quality people (Kevin Millar, Jeff Conine), and sometimes true joys to watch (Dontrelle Willis, Juan Pierre). (Scott Olsen & Dan Miceli not included). And 90% of them have made less per year than Alex Rodriguez makes per game.
The Marlins have extended the joys of Spring Training in Florida thru the monotony of the summer months. And I love them for it. Even here, in Los Angeles, I wear my Florida Marlins hoodie with pride.
But that's over. I've had it. And this has nothing to do with my friends Miguel & Dontrelle being sent to Detroit. This has to do with the Marlins Manatees.
Who are the Manatees? It begins with the Marlins Mermaids. The Mermaids are cheerleaders. Hot ones
. I won't deny that. But they have no place in baseball. The Braves (and perhaps other teams) have started using fan groups based on hot chicks as well. But have dressed them classy for the game. And I believe that NOTHING on this planet is hotter than a cute girl in a woman-cut baseball jersey and a ballcap. I deal with the Mermaids, shut my mouth in front of my peers to avoid criticism. But I find that most baseball-philes agree: there's no place for such things in baseball. But I've let it slide... until now. The Marlins Manatees:( Make the jump for the horror...Collapse )
I'm no longer a Marlins fan. :(
Female employee (noting the EPSON printers): At my other job, we didn't use EPSON, we used Lexapro.
Adam: Lexapro? You mean Lexmark, right?
Female employee: Oh, right. Silly me. (laughs) Lexapro is a pill for erectile disfunction!
Female employee: Right!
- Music:episode 5 of the Sarah Connor Chronicles
What did we learn today?
"... realizing that on any given Sunday anybody can beat anyone... except in 1972!"
-Mercury Morris, former Miami Dolphins running back for the ONLY undefeated team in NFL history.
- Location:Avalon Park
- Music:The Early November - Driving South
A good friend interjected a random statement that took me off guard. Quite funny.
"I need a new hobby... because I've decided to quit drinking."
"I was thinking cake decorating..."
So I've had a lot on my mind lately; life dealing me highs and lows in bunches with so little time in between each that I don't get a chance to just cope any longer (like I could to begin with, right?). I'm beginning to think bipolar syndrome(s) are a product of the environment we live in, and not the person in question. So to some, I may have withdrawn of late, because I just don't know... well, I don't even know what. It's nothing personal. Maybe one day I could talk about it. I can't wait to leave for Los Angeles on February 6.
In the meantime, how bad has it gotten when the most exciting thing on my daily agenda is reminding my roommate Mike Dougherty that he has to take a shit everyday?
- Location:Avalon Park
- Music:The Spill Canvas - All Over You
I'm spending New Years' Eve sick in bed, with a fever & a sense of discontentment (I know, probably not a word) that I hoped I wouldn't have by the time the ball dropped for 2008.
I'm not going to say that some things never change, but I have to shake the feeling that life is based around very finite divisions; not necessarily that all things are gradual--though some/most are--but that they aren't necessarily best ID'd by an omen, or a sign, or a date.
It's just another day.
(It was great seeing Nick & Jason this month.)
- Location:SoFresh, SoFla!
- Music:Bottle Rockets - Another Brand New Year
Has everyone seen this?
I personally think that if the 6-year old girl can write a better essay, entitled "Why Hannah Montana is worth sacrificing my morality & ethics at this young age," and it is indeed better
she should keep the tickets. The atrocious thing is that this incident was in fact orchestrated by her mother. Gotta love the lying & cheating & stealing (yes, I consider it theft) as a key building block in this 6-year old's life. Go Mom!
Imagine this mother when she was in her late 'teens up to her thirties... I bet she was an amazing role model.
I leave with this, an excerpt from the essay:
"My daddy died this year in Iraq. I am going to give Mommy the angel pendant that Daddy put on Mommy when she was having me. I had it in my jewelry box since that day. I love my mommy."
Can you believe the mother wrote this shit so that her SIX YEAR OLD DAUGHTER could get concert tickets and a fucking makeover!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK!!!! WHAT FUCKING SIX YEAR OLD NEEDS A FUCKING MAKEOVER!!?
- Location:SoFresh, SoFla!
- Music:Chris Stills - When the Pain Dies Down
I'm quitting. Quitting what, you ask? Life. Because of this:
I just found out about this. The CAMEL SPIDER
! We are so fucked, humanity. I know there have been some exaggerated claims regarding the capabilities of said CAMEL SPIDER
but I know better--there's no fucking way I'm descended from the same primordial soup as these. No fucking way.
And when these fucking MONSTERS come into contact with the narwhals, octopus, vampire squids, and Venus fly traps and team up, there won't be a single fucking thing we can do about it. We're fucking done. It's over. I fucking quit. I'm not letting them take me back to their lair with the other monsters of this Earth so that they can ingest eggs into my stomach, or paralyze me and slowly work their way to eating my flesh like a fucking Sarlacc
. Fuck this shit.
Norman Spill was right. Does nobody sit down, look at something like this, and go: No... fuck this. There's no way that thing just evolves. Something put that here, on this insignificant planet, to Destroy us. DESTROY
. But these warnings fall on deaf ears.
There are fish with lightbulbs on top of their heads. LIGHTBULBS
, people! And whales with giant fucking spears coming out of their heads. Spears!?! And plants that eat insects. We never came to the conclusion that this is fucking weird?! Carnivorous plants?! We're done.
Don't believe me? I'll leave you with this:
When the Vampire Squids say it's time to go, it's time to go.
I know I have like 3 lj friends, and they all have Matthew Downham as a mutual friend, so you've seen it... but in case you passed over it, here is the newest video:
Enjoy, livejournal! And tell your friends!
(I have a cold! Boo hiss!)
- Location:Stealth House
- Music:Adam on the cellphone (Incubus being noise cancelled)
"Could it be coincidence that you were born from a C-section with the tip of a coat hangar embedded in your skull?"
"His semen count is so high, I have to chew to swallow, but I do it because I love him."
-Mike Dougherty quotes from the last 48 hours
I had one of those weird, surreal dreams that play out more like an Oriental mythological tale than a dream. I don't think I've ever had one like that, or that people even get them, but here it is:
A Tiger & a Panther are waiting in my front yard (which incidentally is way overgrown & ancient, with asian symbols carved into pillars, not to mention sunk-in, so as to form a pit, or even a cage, not unlike something you'd see in the Jungle Book... or Animal Kingdom for that matter). Tiger & Panther are arguing... yes, they can speak. "I will win the prize!" "No, I will win the prize!" You get the point. I stand at the top of the pit and I release the Rat.
Yes, this Rat was easily the size of my dog Comet from RL (real life). It was easily a 60-lb. Rat, and it was thrown into the pit by me and started freaking out. "No! Help me! Help me!" It ran all over the place until the Tiger was finally able to bite it. It yelled. Then a Python comes out and bites the Tiger on the back. It yells out in pain, but refuses to let go of the Rat--who is no longer screaming. Tiger & Panther look at each other knowingly, coming up with a plan.
The next thing I remember is the corpse of the Rat being half-eaten by the Python, who is now a corpse himself. It seems that the Tiger & Panther let him have the Rat and then killed him. Tiger & Panther were eating from the Python, pleased that they had both won the prize.
I don't remember anything else. Interpretations? All I took last night was a sleeping pill.
- Location:SoFresh, SoFla!
- Music:Teri Caitlin - (One of her crappy songs)
MAJOR EDIT: Now I need to include the phrase as seen on JOYSTIQ.COM!
Rock Band: One Man's Journey!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!MAJOR EDIT #2: "The friend was brilliant." -Joystiq.com
Do I have a problem if when asked, "What would you do with your time machine?" my first instinct for answer is "Figure out my ideal fantasy football lineup and go back & draft it."?
- Location:Stealth House
- Music:New Amsterdams - This Day is Done
On the phone with Angel(ina):
Angel: "Let me take an hour nap and then you can continue to talk to Dr. Dicello."
Me: "I hope there isn't a copayment. I don't have any money."
Angel: "Your friendship is the copayment. Don't tell anyone I said that, it's really gay."
Me: "Too late. I'm already quoting it."
The wisdom of Norman Sol Spill:
On the FSU Circus:
"For 25 fucking dollars, they could at the very least have a parade of pachyderms march through this fuckin' tent."
On misheard phrasing:
Ringleader: "If you could direct your attention to our technical team of circus riggers..."
Me (buzzed & amused): "What the hell did they call them?"
Norman: "No, you're thinking of the FAMU circus."
After somersaulting off a couch onto an air mattress, whilst simultaneously kicking my sister in the head:
Jessica (crying): "Ow! Dad, you really hurt me! I'm bleeding from the ear!"
Norman (drunk): "Oh, stop it! You don't hear me bitching about how much you hurt my fucking foot!"
Other insightful quotes from the weekend:
"Colin gives off a double-blip on the gay-dar." -Anonymous
Oh, Life, how I fucking love you!
I'm in the house at 9:30PM on a Saturday night in South Florida, and I don't have a single complaint. Woot!
|- Episode Two - Week In, Week Out|
Do u hate me I m ur friend
K cuz I wudcry k? I dun want u mad at me
No I m just 12yr old on my mom pc she doesgnt know i m here shhh
Wut r textacels u r cute lol
Lol I not drunkbi I m too hung lolz I like ur pics u r cute omg
Ewes no I tol u alrdy I m 12 n u r cute I hve cursh on u will u dkiss me lol
Wb I am bord n I miss ur cut text will u talk 2 me 4 ever plz
Lolz ur spweling sux go to skool lolz&
Dun shake ur hed write back plZ <3
</3 </3 we r no friends ne more I hat u 4evs bye
Fine I m crying and sad thx 4 ruuning my lyfe i m gun die after 4 th block :(
- Music:ELO - Twilight
I think I feel better tonight/this morning than I've felt in years. Tonight was defining. My project begins/completes far better than I could possibly have hoped and I have Colin Peterson (& some lesser--but important--assistance from others like Matthew Downham & Michael Dougherty & Adam LaPrade) to thank for that. Following some exporting, there will be Episode 1 of an on-going project online & ready to go.
Still looking for a job; but Ramen can suit me just as well.
I've finally begun to recognize myself in the mirror as Matt Spill from five years ago--despite the sideburns, dyed hair, and critical need for a haircut.
And let's not forget about that face.
I'm still finding some way to blame this on Nicholas Russo.Stay tuned for the latest/first (kinda) video project from Acceleraptor Productions (being me & anyone associated with any of my projects): The Saga of Dharma Football, Episode One - The Draft, Part I. Featuring the talents of C. Peterson, M. Downham, N. De Lara, A. Barnette, M. Dougherty, A. LaPrade, J. Marshall, Jr., J. Roach, M. Thomsen, K. Kennedy, D. Keithley, and of course, yours truly: M. Philip Spill. Special Thanks to S. Rea, K. Coulson, & A. Fuss & Ron Jon Surf Shops.
I'll have the video up by this time tomorrow (I hope). In the meantime, psych yourself up: listen to Dharma Radio
. We've gone multi-media.
Love & cookies,
M. Philip Spill
- Music:Billy Joel - I Go To Extremes